Humbled...

Three boys under four years old has proven to be a VERY humbling experience. Prior to having kids.. and while I was teaching ...I thought I was a super patient, "easy going," person. Boy was I naive. I thought I'd have six, eight... ten kids. No problem. If I can manage twenty plus eight year olds... I could have a couple kids, right? Easy!

Then, I became a mom. Thankfully, the positive aspects of my personality work well with this job. I love kids. I also love to read to them, teach them things, play and be silly too. Snuggling and singing to them, picking out their clothes, tending to them when they are sick, making them laugh, teaching them manners... these are things I am good at and thoroughly enjoy. However, I have learned there are some experiences or, "mommy jobs," that I'm not so good at. For example... listening to hours of crying during sleep training, dealing with whining from a toddler who is overtired, teaching a one year old not to throw food, acid reflux in general... Just to name a few...It's definitely not an easy job. I love it, but like any job there are parts that are not so pleasant.

Motherhood has taken my flaws and insecurities and put them on center stage. For example... I didn't think I cared about what other people thought of me. Especially, people I don't know. I was wrong. The first time I had to walk through Target with a screaming child in my shopping cart is an experience I will never forget. I cared... I shouldn't have, but the red spots on my chest and sweaty, disheveled exterior showed that I cared. I've learned not to care. I still get embarrassed and stressed sometimes, but for the most part I've realized that it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about me or my children's behavior. I know them best and I know what they need. This is just one way that being a mom has humbled me and forced me to be a better version of myself.

The wonderful thing about being a mom is that the great moments far out way the tough ones. It truly is a beautiful experience to raise a child. To hold their small hands, hear their first words, witness true kindness from their little hearts, listen to them sing, hear them say I love you... the list goes on...it's priceless. However, it is far more difficult and far more amazing than I ever could have dreamed. Jon and I often just look at each other and laugh at the absurdness of our life right now. We tried," going out to dinner," tonight. Ha! Panera first of all...in a corner booth far from civilization... two babies melting down and a four year old upset because he had water instead of milk... Oy...We just laughed, ate, and got out of their as soon a possible. It is a precious, but wild ride! I find myself truly living for the day right now. Trying to find some sort of life balance and trying my best to stay as patient and positive as possible. Prayer helps...God always answers and quickly refreshes my mind. All this little chaos just seems so important right now. I try to remind myself that it is a fleeting period of time and the methods to the madness are not what matter. It is the meaning behind everything that does. Teaching my children to be lover's of God and not the world, to be thoughtful, kind, humble, gracious... that is what matters...but, boy do time outs, tantrums and tattling get in the way of that! I love being a mom and I want to be a great one. Here's to another day of trying!

I have a few picture updates... mostly from my phone. That's where we are at right now. If I actually have a second, I snap a quick pic.