Cuter by the day...

Last day of K

Just can't believe it. Today was Jakes last day of kindergarten. To say it flew is an understatement. I can't believe I will have a first grader next year! I also can't believe he will be a student at the school I taught in. The one I left to go on maternity leave to have... HIM. CRAZY! Time flies. 

He is a little sad to be saying goodbye to his current school. He has been telling me how much he is going to miss his teacher and friends a lot this week. He also told me not to donate his uniforms in case he comes back. This pulled on my heart strings a bit, as I'm fighting back nerves myself. However, I keep reminding him that most of the kids in his class are not returning either. 

Today, he woke up excited for the last day of school and for summer. He is an easy going kid and super friendly so I know he will love his new school. His new elementary school has a, "move up day." So, next week before summer he will get to meet his new teacher and new friends. I know this will make the transition even easier. So proud of my boy and what an awesome reader and student he has become this year!! Thanks to awesome teachers and a wonderful school, we had a great year. 

First day of school and the last (dress in whatever you want day). William of course had to be involved in the photo shoot and Kevin was stil sleeping. 

It Ain't Always Easy

Phew... Having one of those days over here where bad decisions,tantrums and cheekiness were running wild! Love you boys, but mama is exhausted! 

Little note to my boys from an exhausted, loving mama:

Dear my sweets,

        When I first started out my journey of becoming your mommy, I read a lot of baby books. I asked questions to people who had been moms. I was nervous, but so so excited! All I ever wanted to be was a mom. However, I was never told just how hard it would be. I know now that it is mostly because unless you are in the thick of it.... The joys of parenting far out weight the hardships. The joys help you forget the tough stuff. For example... Kevin, you were born only three years ago... And I already forget how tiring it is to have a newborn baby. Lacey (our new pup) gave me a wee reminder of that this week though.

Right now we are in the toddler/ kindergarten years. I am here to tell you that I love you very much, but lately you guys can wear me out. I didn't know prior to having you how much personality you would all have and how much I would love it. How much I would worry about you and your future. How much your actions or words would make me exhausted and/or frustrated. How hard it would be to try and always be calm and patient ( I was a really patient teacher with twenty-two students... Much harder with you three) 

When I pictured having children I pictured coloring pages with adorable childhood doodles... Grilled cheese sandwiches... Swing sets in the backyard, togetherness, laughter and a lot and a lot of hugs and kisses. Thankfully, aside from the swing set... We have all of that and more! I just didn't anticipate how hard it would be to guide you and lead you through this crazy world we live in. 

Nowadays, wow that makes me feel old... Parents are trying to be their kids friend. To not be too negative and be only positive. Grown ups seem to be afraid to put their foot down and actually say,"no," or,"your not being nice,"... Adults seem to have forgotten how important their role is. I have not forgotten boys and I try each day to be the best mommy and I can be for you. Trust me.... I'd much rather just give you guys everything you want all day long and keep you smiling all the time.... The problem is that wouldn't work! Getting what you want every minute might be what you think you want, but it's not. I love you dearly, but I have been given the blessed and tremendously daunting responsibility of raising you and pointing you in the direction to be godly, loving, strong and courageous men. And guess what... It's really hard! Some days, I feel like looking up to heaven and saying... "God, I'm not worthy of this huge job!" I don't want to mess this up!" Then, God reminds me in something you say or do of the absolute joys you are in my life. 

 In the end and on days like today... I'm worn. However, I feel hope that this worn out feeling will be worth it! I am your mother. You are my boys. We are made for each other. So, even if there are days we don't see eye to eye... Remember this...

I am not your friend. I love you more than your friends do. I love you so much I am willing to stick to my guns and make you try that green bean! I love you so much, I will put you in time out fifty times in a row if I have too (we've gotten close boys) I love you so much, I will stay up late into the wee hours of the night googling or researching the best way to ( fill in the blank) for you! I love you so much, I will pray for you each and every time I worry about you. I love you so much I will play matchbox cars on the floor for an hour and build forts or out together boyish lego sets again and again. I love you so much, we will go to the same farm each week and feed the same animals with the same enthusiam. I love you so much and trust that even when me... Your imperfect mommy... feels overwhelmed, I will trust that our perfect god has a awesome plan for us! With God and Daddy included we've got all we need to get through any rough day do tantrums that comes our way! We love each other fiercely. I hope we always shuggle, kiss attack and laugh at each other the way we do now! Another blessing to be reminded about.... Tomorrow is a new day! 

See you in the morning boys... Can't wait to see your faces...

Love, mama

Refresh my soul

This past weekend I was lucky to be able to get away with some ladies to the poconos. It was a much needed trip for me. Things have been non-stop here for some time now and I needed some peace and lady time! Friday night we ate s'mores around the campfire and sang worship songs. Saturday I went for a jog first thing in the morning and could hear only the creek running in the background! A bunch of us then went hiking at bushkill falls. It was so much more peaceful than I imagined. It's hard to leave the boys, but I am not ashamed to admit that I needed it and Im thankful for a husband who encourages me to do so. It truly refreshed my soul and I came back with a renewed sense of energy. Oh, and my friend Amy and I saw a bear!! A real bear! It was amaZing. My only regret is having to leave a little early... Don't regret why though (Lacey!) Already can't wait to go again next year! 

She's here!

Sunday, I went to Maryland and picked up our new pup, Lacey. I was super impressed with the breeder. She spent an hour or so informing and teaching me about puppies. Lacey is adorable! Her fur feels like a blanket and her eyes are beautiful. The breeder and her husband were smitten with her and it was obvious they did not want to lose her. She slept on my lap on the way home. The boys were so excited for you be home and have been so good with her so far. So far she has a great temperament. She is calm and super loving. Potty training is going pretty well to. She's had accidents, but she's doing really well. The first night she slept in the crate in our room. She cried for fifteen minutes then slept for maybe five hours before waking again. Then, she was up every hour crying for a few minutes then falling back to sleep. I felt like I had a newborn! A furry, cute newborn, but still... I was exhausted. Then last night, we tried her downstairs. She cried initially, but then we only heard her once through the night. So, I am thrilled overall with how she is doing. Lacey has brought a really nice feel to the house. The TV hasn't been on, the boys have been helping... It's new and I know it will fade somewhat, but I really love it so far.  Plus, I have been able to buy a few pink things!! 

Spring Concert

Jake had his final concert in kindergarten this past week. He was pumped as usual and could barely stay still on stage. He even fell off once! Luckily, no one really noticed and he was fine.  He has always been a ball of energy and passion. Everything he does, he does it with enthusiasm. Of all the words his teachers in the past have used to describe him, enthusiastic has come up most often. I love his little spirit! I hope he never loses enthusiam for life. The boy certainly lives it up!

The show was awesome as usual and Jon and I always get a kick out of seeing him up there. I've gotta say though, I got so emotional during the show this time. I can't believe he will be in first grade next year? We have had such a wonderful experience at his little private christian school. He has been there since he was three years old. The small class size, intimidate and very caring environment has been perfect for him. It is a little scary to think he will be moving on next year. I know that we are making the right decision for him and our family by sending him to public school next year...we have thought and prayed about it for years! However, I couldn't help but get chocked up thinking about his day of school and the thought that God will not be mentioned once. I just pray that his little heart hears His whisper throughout the day and that Jake has the courage and strength to listen to it. This thought is one I never imagined having. I was a public school teacher myself and thought very highly of it and still do. Having my boys has changed my perspective on many things. One being their faith and the exposure to the world. I am cautious of what they are exposed to at this age and worry about their little hearts.

 As stressful as it has been some days... I will miss our morning rides to school together where we prayed about his day ahead. I have loved seeing him run to his teacher in the morning and then being there to pick him up and chat with his teacher at the end of the day. I guess his school has provided a little more security for both of us and it is time to leave the nest. This makes me weepy, but I'm proud of the boy he has become. As always music gets to me in a profound way. There is one song they sing at the end of each year that I adore. It hits me right in the mama heart and this year I am particularly thankful for the message behind it. Here are the lyrics. 

Can't Get Away by Rush of Fools

I am an arrow, I am a rocket
I am a river and nothing can stop it
Cause You are the target and You are the atmosphere
You are the ocean that keeps pulling me, You're pulling me here

And I, can't get away, can't get away
Can't get away, can't get away
I can't get away, can't get away...I keep running into You

I am a beggar, You are the table
I am so helpless, God You are so able
And when I get turned around You change my direction
You're so perfect, I'm so broken, here You come with arms wide open 
Chasing after me down every road
You're always waiting there

Even when I close my eyes, I can't help but see 
There's no place that I can hide, You're such a part of me
I can't get away cause I keep running into You
I can't get away...

Thank you to the teachers that chose this song, thank you to a school who has provided a solid foundation of faith for our boy and thank you to God who has led us down this path and will continue to help us see the way! 

I love my biggest boy and I know he will love his great new school and getting on the bus with neighbors who he adores. I also know God is with him even when I can't be. This brings me peace.... at the bus stop this fall I think I may also need a tissue or two! 

Requested a picture with his teacher. He loves her!