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If you read my blog and would like to continue too please email me or add a comment to this entry with your email address. Dont' be embarrassed if you stalk me and haven't actually talked to me in ten years. I stalk people all the time online or facebook, no worries I will be flattered!! I have chosen to make my blog private considering everything we are going through with adoption and fertility and I would like to be able to be as honest as possible without worry. My email is joannecsharp@yahoo.com. Thank you

The newest

We have had quite the eventful week over here. Our A/C was out for most of the week. The guys were here at least 4 times to fix it. So, Jake and I were dealing with the heat and napping at Mommel's house. Thanks Mommel and Popple! It is now up and running and has has pretty much had every part replaced. We also had a nice little society of ants take over our house. They came for a visit and have decided to stay. So, we have had an Orkin visit as well. Poor Jake spent most of his week waiting on service people.

On a more fun note, we also had another adoption appointment. This appointment is one of three in the last stage of adoption approval!!!!! It is called the home study. Our case worker, Janet, who I LOVE...interviewed Jon and I for about 2 hours. She asked every question you can imagine. Anything from are you willing to adopt trans-racial babies? to would you be willing to adopt a child if they have distant relatives have schizophrenia? We also had to go over possible drug/alcohol and smoking use. You name it... we talked about it. The questions just kept coming and as she asked them, I found myself bewildered at how to answer some of them. I have faith that God's hand is over every decision we make, so it is a weird feeling to be picking "attributes" or "characteristics" of a child. Ultimately, we understand that once we meet a birth mom/birth parents and make a solid connection that whatever come afterward is in God's hands. So, we tried our best to be honest about the kind of problems/situations we would be okay with and the ones that we were nervous about. Our case worker is wonderful and helped us understand the need for each question and come up with exactly the way we wanted to answer them. In the end we have decided that we are open to many races, possible health needs (although not severe) and/ or emotional needs if present at birth and quite a few is existing. We are also open to twins depending on what happens with our fertility.

Another topic we had to discuss in length, was the issue of what kind of adoption it would be. By that I mean Open, semi-open or closed. The agency had us read 4 books on these topics and complete an online course. This information greatly helped us understand and changed our minds quite a bit about everything. We began with a very old or traditional understanding of adoption. You go to the hospital, get the baby and run! You don't want to hear/speak or see the birth mom ever again because it is your baby and you worry she/they will take the baby back. After reading the books, I understand that adoption has changed dramatically. Our society is more accepting of single mothers and babies out of wed lock and there is not as much need for the privacy. Birth moms have more rights now and also more opinions about what they want for their baby's future. I am happy for these changes because I just can't imagine how hard it must be to give a child away. However, I still had reservations about the kind of relationship if any I wanted with a birth mom and so did Jon. We now feel that we want at least a letter/s and/or pictures from the birth mom explaining the love she had for the child and the situation she was in. This way when the child asks about the adoption we can offer more information to them. We are also going to be writing letters and sending pictures to her for the first 6 months (each month) then month 9 and 12. After that, will depend on the relationship with the birth mom and the trust we have built with her. We are unsure at this point about psychical visits or phone calls. We are not going to be releasing any information about our selves other than our first names. We ultimately want what is best for the child and I understand a three or four year old would not know they wanted to see their birth mom. It will be our job to create conversations with the child and be as open and supportive as possible. There are still a few question marks, but we feel confident they will be answered once we meet the right girl/parents. We are also considering joining the adoption support group at our church and maybe getting together with some families who have adopted children to chat. We are expected to be fully approved by September which means we could have a baby very soon! The whole process just excites me and I am more hopeful than ever. I know God has something (or a few somethings) amazing in store for us. Our family doesn't feel complete yet... but we are hopeful that it will be in the somewhat near future!!!

Hot Fun in the Summertime!

It has been HOT!!! So, we have been spending almost every evening and/or daytime in the pool. The water is so warm and amazing you never want to get out. Jake is now jumping, diving, swimming... he's a crazy man in the water. A true water baby like his mama! We could stay in all day.
Summer has been great, but tonight topped all the summer nights we have had. Jake and I went swimming, got dressed in comfies and headed out to play catch in the street with some neighbors (another favorite past time of Jake's) Apparently, our neighborhood has been on the "B" list for the ice cream man. He hasn't been coming around for a few years and then today... I first heard those lovely jingles coming down the hill. I dropped my purse, grabbed Jake and sprinted down the street. Alright... I didn't sprint... I had to play cool in front of the neighbors, but I felt like sprinting! I was more excited than Jake. We enjoyed our ice cream from Mister Softee and the world was good. I love moments like that. I looked around at all the neighbors coming out of their doors with smiles. The sound of happy tunes and lawnmowers in the air and I was eating ice cream. What could be better? It brings me back to my childhood when life was simpler.

"Bye ice Cweem Man... Thanks!"

"It's Yummy Mommy"

Post- ice cream, pre- bath time

Uncle Mike and Aunt Katie

We had a quick visit from my brother and Katie on Saturday night. It was wonderful. As usual, we cooked up a feast for ourselves and sat around talking about how good it was. Popple joined in on the fun too! We swam in the pool and walked down main St. It was great! Jake loves his uncle and aunt and had so much fun seeing them. Miss you guys already!! Next time it's NYC to visit YOU...

Oh, and of course CORN!!

CORN....

CORN... Jake is obsessed... it must be Sharp gene... I like it, but come on three pieces

French Country through and through...

I have been attempting to create a french country feel in my house since we moved in. It is a slow process, but has been so much fum! After painting the shutters, I needed a new door color and some accents to pull it all together. After looking for the perfect country blue... I think I found it. It is a little bolder than I would usually go, but that's why I love it! I also found a yellow adorable country-ish rug, a hand painted mailbox and a footed planter that I think pulls it all together. So here it is...

1st coat...
2nd coat...
all done!
cute rug from home goods (greatest store in the world)
thought a yellow planter may offset the door and add more fun?

couldn't resist...

Finished Product

It's Black... It's White,,,,

You can always tell how I am feeling by the amount of house projects I have going on. I am a fan of "do it yourself," type projects and tend to do more of them when I am bored or anxious. While in the middle of the infamous 2 week wait, I needed something to take my mind of the impending news. So, why not paint my shutters and make my husband (who is afraid of heights) get up on a ladder and take them down? In 100 degree weather? I have been wanting to paint my shutters since we bought the house, but it is not exactly high on the priority list. However, I had primer and a can of white paint already!!!!! I love warm colors and definitely seem to prefer a country/Victorian style. So, I went with white because unfortunately we cannot change the grey siding right now and grey really limits your choices. I think white makes the house so much cuter and I think the little porch accents help to attain the Victorian touch I was going for. Let me know what you think...

Before- old worn black shutters, red door, and wagon wheel acents on the porch.

Terrified... but living strong First complete set, hune these myself because I was feeling impatient

Victorian twist...
TADA!!! New pretty door and white shutter... Now I am thinking I may paint the door a fun blue color ? any thoughts?

Curve Ball

Life to me is a series of curve balls. I love and loath the unpredictability that life can bring, but I know that God is consistent throughout it all. I am typically someone who can see the bright side of things amidst the curve balls. I consider myself a pretty positive person. I know God has an amazing plan for me and my family and I try to remember that during hard times. Lately, my positivity has been challenged. Jon and I have been struggling with fertility for a while now. We have been trying for number two for almost a year and a half now. Hard to believe it has been that long and yet I know that some people struggle for years more... I hesitated to write about all of this for that simple fact, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't share the story. We were moved to a fertility specialist about three months ago. It has definitely been a learning experience and has opened my eyes in many ways. We have been pretty conservative so far, but this month we took some leaps. We are hoping the new procedures will give us better odds. Fertility to me is particularly challenging. It seems to give me a false sense of control. I know that no matter what we choose to do, God is all powerful. I trust in Him and know that everything is for the good. However, my heart aches for another little one. I long to rock and sing to a new baby, smell the newness that is so amazing, see Jake as a big brother and watch my family grow. I long to see the features of Jon and I in a new person, attempt to find a name that we think is perfect, use my click and go again and I even miss middle of the night awakenings. As much as they were tiring, I loved them. There is nothing better than feeding a baby then rocking as the rest of the world sleeps. (remind me of this if I am lucky enough to experience it again) I am not in a depressed state about our situation, all thanks to God. However, I have seen little changes in my daily routines or the way I am thinking that show me, I am challenged. I thank God for the husband he has given me. Jon is steadfast in his faith that God will help us now matter which path he chooses for us. I love that I have a constant source of strength in him. I don't know what I would do without him. Jon and I have also begun the adoption process which we had planned all along. We were going to adopt our third anyway, so we have just begun a little earlier!! It too is an amazing process to go through and I have learned a lot about myself, my husband and my family just through beginning the process. It is wonderful. Either way, I have hope that I will one day hold a precious one again... until then I will snuggle this little bot every chance I get and hold him like a baby when he lets me! "I not baby mommy... I big boy!!"