Never want to forget...

Not feeling hot over here, but had to blog about one of my sweeties so I wouldn't forget it. I have been sick, as you know, and my poor Jake has had to witness some pretty gross scenes with me lately. He is quite traumatized when I become violently/unexpectedly ill. He often cannot focus until I am myself again. Today, while feeding the baby it happened. I had to quickly lay the baby down, grab the trash can by my bed and run. I was hoping to spare Jake from the trauma. I could here him talking while I was in there but until I could respond I didn't know what he was saying. I peeked my head and out and said," What buddy?" He looked at my with such an upset face and said," I just love you Mommy." He is so aware of feelings it is insane. Jake does not like it when other people feel sick or are sad. While watching shows or reading stories, he often focuses on people's faces and characters feelings. However, I find that he is particularly aware of my feelings. My sweet sensitive mommy's boy. I hope he never loses this quality!

Toddlers, Infants and Pregs.... oh My!

Life around here has been a little off kilter lately... as I've said I haven't been feeling like myself and haven't been able to do all that I normally do each day. However, after two days pretty much in bed... today I feel 50% better. Still nauseous, but normal pregs sick. Totally do- able! I sure hope it stays... Wanted to give some updates because I feel like it has been forever since I have.Jake is such a three year old these days. On a daily basis he cracks me up and drives me nutty! He talks non-stop ALL day long and says the funniest things sometimes. Until he closes his eyes at night, he has something to say. As tired as I am of talking and answering questions by the end of the day, I miss him when he is not around me and I often think it is too quiet. He is becoming more independent each day. He still likes Mommy to do a lot of things. So, I am encouraging him to do more for himself. He is a very sweet boy and I just love the way he talks to Jon and I. Each night, we laugh, look at each other and say.. he's the sweetest. I have always known that Jake is emotional. He has become more aware of others feelings and feels every emotion there is throughout the day now. I love this quality, crying is often his gut reaction to things. Not a full out melt down cry, but he wells up a few times throughout the day. Whether it is getting hurt physically, not getting his way or someone hurting his feelings, he cries. I don't mind that he cries of course, but I don't want him to be pushed around or too emotional about daily events. I've been working with him a lot lately on this issue. I believe it is important for a boy/man to have emotions and not hide them for fear that it is not masculine. My dad is very emotional and I love it. I know how much he cares and he shows it often. I think it is a very important trait for a father and husband to have. So, I want Jake to keep this quality, yet I don't want him to always be crying. So, in a three year old way I have been trying to show him at times that maybe this isn't the best time to cry. What can we do instead? Use our words... use our manners...tell an adult... walk away... I'm trying, but I find it hard to explain at times. I was/am an emotional person as well so I can really relate to some of his feelings. I'm not a huge crier necessarily, but I feel so much for other people that sometimes I get overwhelmed. For example, I can rarely watch the news because I become so engrossed in the stories that I actually experience chest pain or crazy emotions from imagining what these people must be feeling. I'm positive that I am overreacting about this, but it's my job to examine these things! I think emotions can be channeled in the right way and I pray that God will help me lead Jake down the right path with his. On another note, he continues to be the best big brother Will could ask for! So protective and loving. Makes me so proud.

Will is now three months old. I can't believe it. Talk about sweet. He smiles more than any baby I have ever seen. Even in his sleep or when he is upset, he smiles. He does one smile that just melts my heart. He looks at you, smiles and then curls up his body and covers his face with his hands like he is shy. Ugh . He has the best hair I have ever seen. It just keeps getting better. I'm so curious to see what it will look like down the road because right now it is a mix of fro/curls/crazy. I love it. He is still not a fan of the bath. He is improving and will enjoy it for a minute once he is warm, but overall... not a fan. He takes bottles every four hours now throughout the day and eight ounces at a time. At night he usually does a six hour stretch then it is potluck from that point on. Sometimes, he goes back down until his morning bottle and other nights he seems to be very unsettled from 2-6am. Up and down. I have not been myself either, so we are just going with the flow right now. I will worry about sleep training once I feel better. Our pediatrician recently put him on some meds for reflux and I'm not totally convinced they are working. He's spitting up less, but is still having some trouble with his bottles and his body seems tense a lot during and after feedings. Time will tell if the meds are helping or if it is actually more about his short tongue. I am going to make an appointment with an ENT to discuss whether his tongue needs to be clipped or not. At his two month check up, he was in the 75 % for height and 50% for weight. He is starting to giggle a little and move around a little more too. He is in 3-6 months and some six month clothes already! So fun!

As far as Will's open adoption is concerned, we are loving it. We email his birthmom every other week or so with little notes here and there. We also met her out for dinner and brought Will with us about a month ago. We met at a busy, low key restaurant and told her she could bring a friend or family member is she wanted. She brought her best friend who had been at the hospital with her during Will's birth. The dinner went beautifully and as always felt so natural. She fed and held Will and seemed to really enjoy his company. We chatted about how he was doing, how she was going and life in general. At the end, we could tell she was not in a rush and we ended up at the restaurant for almost three hours. It makes me so happy that we have developed a great relationship and we can really see God working on not only our hearts but hers as well. What a blessing! Today is March 16th. I heard on the radio a challenge to share the verse John 3:16 with someone you didn't know. Although, I did not do that. It made me think of her right away. Imagine.... giving away your only son... what a remarkable and amazing choice. Truly selfless.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

That's all for now.... more to say but feeling wiped out... will upload pics soon!

To my hubbs

The last few weeks have been rough and I have definitely not been feeling or acting like myself. I have not been able to make the kind of meals I like to make, clean the way I usually do or even stay up past 8:00! My husband has been such a trooper. He has been changing diapers when I am ready to gag, helping with dinner when I need it, giving me nap time on the weekends and putting the kids to bed on nights when I am really sick. All without complaining. He even planned a special weekend away for our little family in April. He is amazing. I am so thankful that we function as a team and that he helps pick up the slack when I can't. Thank you to my handsome, hardworking and sweet husband!!!