Sharing rooms.

I have always dreamed of my kids sharing rooms. I have few, but fond memories of sharing a room with my sister. So whenever I pictured it in my mind... I imagined little boys giggling, chatting then falling right to sleep. They also napped happily for long periods of time during the day in my dreams... 

The last few days with the boys sharing a room has been interesting, comical and frustrating. They are definitely loving being together. I have adored listening against the door at their night time pillow talk. So far night time, as far as falling asleep, has been a breeze. Middle of the night has been a different story. The first night they were both up at midnight to " use the potty." My kids never get up n the middle of the night, so It definitely made me question my decision. The second night Will was up for about an hour making noises ( I think trying to wake Jake), But thankfully Jake slept right through it and I ended up putting Will in the crib. Will has given me quite a hard time at nap time too. I just remind him that if he gets out of bed, he will be put back in the baby crib in the spare room and that seems to work. I pray it just keeps getting better and that we have less early morning and night wakings.

 I am not ignorant that there will be problems...There already have been. However, I hope that having conflict Makes them better at conflict resolution and more resilient. I believe resiliency is the best thing you can teach a child. Life is tough. They will struggle. I want them to be able to deal with whatever comes their way...knowing they have God on their side.  I like my kids on a pretty structured schedule, but I want them to flexible too. I also strive to have my kids be great at sharing and giving to others. I think this is a challenge for kids these days... My kids don't , "want" very often or for very long. I'm not saying I get them everything they want. That is certainly not the case, but their needs are always met. They rarely struggle for something... Jake knows that if he wants something that he can just save money and get it. This is good, but not all children in the world have that option. I don't have the ability to travel all over right now with my children showing them how lucky they are, but I want them to feel it and appreciate all that God has given them. They have all they need when they have God, each other and this lovely room to share. They are abundantly blessed. Now let's hope were blessed with more sleep:) 

Picture Update...Round Here...

Mom

Not having a mom, just ...plain ...stinks. I'm just going to come right out and say it. Lately, I have been working on being completely transparent... So here it is. The good, the bad and the ugly people. Tonight, I miss her terribly. You've heard of heartache, maybe you have felt it. If you haven't... Ugh, it actually hurts. My chest feels tight and there is a throbbing that only goes away with time, prayer and for me blogging and crying.  For almost ten years now, I have worked tirelessly to be positive, optimistic and happy about my current family structure. However, some days...it's work. Some days, I just want to cry. Other days, I wake up and think... Yup, she is really still gone and this really still stinks...  And other days, it would be nice to just stop for a few hours and feel sorry for myself.

 I dreamt my life another way. I planned on her being here. I planned on her being at my college graduation, at the other end of the phone when I called to say," he asked me to marry him!" I planned on her helping me pick out my wedding gown. I definetely planned on her meeting my kids and being a big part of their lives. I planned a lot of things. However, life is not about what we have planned. It's actually quite the opposite.

I have learned a lot these past nine years. I've learned that you can make the most of a terrible situation if you have God on your side. I've learned that people you thought you knew, can change dramatically. I've learned what is important and that life on earth is very short, but meaningful.  I've learned that I'm really good at avoiding big hurt. I've learned that I'm going to be the best wife, mother and grandmother these boys could ever imagine.

I'm going to continue tirelessly to be positive and look up as often as possible. God is a good, loving God. This I believe. Although, I would have had it a very different way... I am blessed. I have much to praise Him for and I am thankful for the perspective I have gained through my grief. It still stinks, but everyday is a step closer to my eternity with her. I want to leave a legacy just as she did. I want to be real...and present as often as possible. Speaking of the present, it is way too late ...especially when you have three little boys that wake up early for pancakes! So on with life I go...

Rainy June Pic Update

It has been the rainiest June to date here in New Jersey. This mama is running out of ideas on how to keep little active boys busy on rainy days. So, the first few days of July have been a blessing! Sunny, hot and humid. Finally, feels like summer! Although it has been a slow start to the summer, it has been nice to just relax and not have an agenda. My kids are definitely happier just being home and going with the flow. We try to take advantage of the sunny days we have and make the best of the rainy ones. Hopefully, the sun is here to stay!!

On another note, the boys are continuing to grow like weeds. Quick boy update, so I don't forget these precious little moments.

Jake
     Jake.. you are very excited about kindergarten next year. I can see that you needs to be stimulated more and more the older you get. Your mind is just non-stop. It amazes me. You really love to learn and are the most content when playing board games, doing "homework", or active outside. You don't do well with too much TV or Wii. It seems to bring out a very grumpy, discontent little boy. Jake you are super into learning letters and making and reading words recently. Noticing signs and listening to mommy and daddy spell things... then smarty pants tells us what we just said! You are sometimes a little too rough with your brothers and we are constantly working on self control. However, there are more and more moments where I see your true love for your brothers and my heart just melts. You continue to be hysterical! Making Daddy and I laugh every day. You love playing golf with Daddy and played your first nine holes recently with Daddy and Uncle Mike. Your also my weather buddy, we both love checking the weather first thing in the morning. You love using the word awkward. You rarely use it correctly, so it cracks us up! Sweetest thing about my Jakers right now... You are my water baby! We could stay in the pool all day together... I also love how you prefer Mommy to put him to bed because you like my back scratches! I love your friendly, out-going personality and creative mind, constantly coming up with games and amazing ideas! Love you biggest!
Feet: Size 12
Clothes: 5T or 6T

Will
     Willy Nilly. You seem to gain more personality day by day. You just love being a ham bone. Your favorite thing is to laugh and make others laugh. If we are out to dinner, YOU are my biggest worry. Not because of your manners because you have the best manners! But, because you are SO loud. I am amazed that people always think you are the quiet one in public, because at home or anywhere you are comfortable you are a roaring lion. Your laugh and smile are completely contagious. You have gained a bit of a lazy side, that although drives me nuts... also makes me laugh. I'll say," Will bring your clothes to the hamper please." And you'll respond," Eh, baby do it." Meaning... Kev should do it. Where do you get this stuff? You have gained a love for the water this summer and now jump off the diving board. You are also a," big boy," now. We are using the potty occasionally and thinking about moving you to your big boy bed. You continue to be a little shy in new environments, but warm up quickly. You love dancing, super hero's (your favorite is joker?) , Wii, swimming, the beach and anything involving your brothers. You have the most generous heart and are always willing to share. You make a really cute mean face. Your a phone guy... you like calling people and would stay on the phone all day. Most of the time people don't know what your saying, but you don't seem to care. You also love baths, especially with food coloring in them. Your favorite is blue! I am trying desperately to get you to learn your colors. You can match them, but have a hard time identifying them. Knowing you, you probably really know them and you're just pulling my chain. You see a chiropractor once a week now and are the best patient! it has completely cured your constipation! YAY for Will! Favorite Will thing right now... How you play with Kevin. You are so sweet and gentle with him. Your sense of humor is endless and never ceases to amaze. Lastly, you are my little snuggle buddy. You always love being held, rocked and sung too. Even at two and half, you would let me rock you to sleep. Love you Willy Nilly!
Feet: Size 9
Clothes: 3T

Kevin
   You have become quite the spunky little one. Two years old is quickly approaching and it shows in your behavior. All of a sudden out right refusing to sit in your high chair. After about a two week stand down... meaning I would not let you eat until you sat in it.. three meals a day.. lots of tantrums... your back to sitting in it. Phew! You love running and being chased. You come up to us and make the cutest tickle sound and try tickling us. I love that. You don't say yes. Instead you make a cute affirmation sound instead. It's adorable. Your hair has turned blond and I think you look an awful lot like Uncle Mike now. You say, "thank you Mommy," for everything. You are very good in the car and love car trips! You could play cars all day. You are an eater. You eat everything, and you eat it ALL! I am afraid to see you as a teenager. You love to play super heros with your brothers and try so hard to keep up! You are totally obsessed with puppies. You sleep with two stuffed puppies, screech when they walk by or are on TV and call every animal you see a puppy. You also call cars and trucks, "truckie." You love your brothers very much, but don't take anything! You are a little toughy when you need to be. Favorite Kevy moments... when you snuggle. How you LOVE Your Daddy so much. Your stubbornness, because even when your mad you are so stinkin' cute. Your littleness. You may be my last baby (Only God knows) so I am savoring these little moments with you every day.
Feet: 5.5
Clothes: 24M or 18M

Here is a picture update of our adventures so far this summer.