Little bit of a monster...

Tonight, I am feeling crummy about my "momismness" (yup just made that one up). I felt like post 3:00pm this afternoon, I turned into a monster mom for lack of a better term. I am frustrated with myself as a I look back at my reasons of frustration and my lack of patience over trivial moments. I let the lack of kitchen construction, toddler behavior and my cold symptoms get the best of me. Lately, there are a lot of little moments that feel very intense. These moments may last 10 seconds or 10 minutes. They are usually in the early to late afternoon and involve both babies crying at the same time and my biggest feeling very frustrated by their crying. Then, my internal mom mind starts spinning trying to decifer which need is greater. Which behavior to correct first, which child to snuggle first, which spill to clean up first and so on... Lately, I am letting the little meaningless things get to me. It is annoying to me. I wish I could catch myself in the moment and say."really Jo? You are letting THIS stuff bother you?" I have certainly dealt with greater struggles then these. I have overcome tremendous greif and change in my life. These little frsutrations and changes should be welcomed with joy and today they were greeted by a green headed mommy monster. I want to be better! I want to do better for my children and husband. It is during these little times of struggle that I need to remember to lean on God and tap into the patience that comes only from Him. Ugh, how I thank Him tonight that tomorrow is a new day. I plan on getting up early to shower and have quiet time so I can start the day off on a good note!

Room Redo Phase One

As I said, we are currently having our kitchen/family/dining rooms re-done. The main idea is to create a more open floor plan. We had a wall removed between the family room and kitchen as well as expanding the dining room entrance way a foot and a half or so. Then, we extended our wood flooring that is currently in the other rooms throughout the kitchen and dining rooms. Along with these changes come new cabinets, appliances, lighting, trim....you name it. It has been a lot of decision making, but I have love, love, loved it. We were already certain that moving was not the decision that God had wanted for us, but this super fun project has made it that much more appealing to hunker down and stay in this house, the way I always pictured it in my mind. I have visualized, designed and dreamed it for years now. So, it is amazing to see it coming to life. Here is phase one before and after. Oh but... the dust is immense... immense...

bye bye wall, you will...not...be missed

Little Vana for you...

landing fo-sophets and new cabinets on the left to come!

larger doorway and dining walls blue, love it

seeing the vision here people???

chose the middle color for the walls

brightening the hallway walls up as well

Picture Update

Things have been very hectic around here as we are redoing our kitchen and dining room. We have pretty much been living in my master bedroom which has made for some interesting moments and crummy carpet! I have been trying my best to take the kids outside as much as possible and family members have been inviting us over for dinner, which has really helped. Overall, I can't wait for it to be over and I cannot wait to see our new kitchen and the new open layout!! I have felt very thankful for the amount of space we normally have and grateful it will once again return. Here are some pics of the happenings lately. Remodel pics will be my next post... promise!!

An attempt at a family photo

caught eating a cupcake

I know one day I will say," you two used to both fit in one of those baby swings!"

Jake's bored face... Will's I think I am playing Wii face (at this point, he holds the broken remote)

I have been in full teacher mode over here keeping these boys busy...ordinal numbers anyone??

not sure...

Jake had to drop off daddy's shirts, by himself

First bloody nose... why did I stop and take a picture you ask? I wondered this myself after the fact...

Our mommy's helper is out for the season playing soccer and her amazing sister stepped up and filled in for a few months!! Thank goodness!

Best buddies

Our little William

I think all of my boys are funny in their own ways, but Will is a true ham. He dances, sings and does the funniest faces ever. He is also unintentionally funny. Yesterday, Jon and I doing things around the house and I noticed it was very quiet.... (insert mom instinct) so I looked around and found the pantry door wide open. There was Will's blanket and paci and a bunch of lollipop wrappers! Uh oh. So we looked all around, no Will. Then, we went upstairs and noticed his door closed. There he was sitting in his comfy chair secretly eating lollipops with a huge grin. Sneaky, but so darn cute!

A few of my favorite things...

As I sit here and type, Will is protesting his nap in his crib. I am having one of those mornings. Moms know what I mean. Maybe Dads do to. Things just aren't going the way I pictured them to go. As I attempt to,"get things done." All I can hear is Will crying. I am feeling the need at this moment to remeber things that I just adore about my life and the little moments that make it all worth while.

- Will singing the abcs while I change his diaper "QRS... QRS..."
- Jake wanting me to lay with him at night because he likes me rubbing his back
- Kev resting his head on my shoulder
- How the boys greet Jon with such enthusiasm when he comes home at night
- My little moments of Zen when I feel like I could handle a dozen more kids.
- A clean floor
- Moving on from formula
- Holding little hands and putting socks on tiny feet
- The smell of spit on Kev's cheek when he wakes from his nap
- How Jake let's me win each night at the, "I love you more than.." game we play
- How Will is obsessed with music and seems to already know the words to songs on the radio as we drive in the car
- Jake's love for learning
- Jon's desire to be a great dad and how he cares so much for our boys
- Family dinners
- How Jake gets in between Jon and I when we hug. Now, sometimes Will tries to  sneak in
- Neighbors who genuinely care and show it
- The feeling of being undeserving to have such a wonderful life and knowing that it came straight from the big man upstairs...

Okay, now I feel better. Back to my, "honey do," list.

Us Lately.

In our house... Will is the foodie. He loves, appreciates and savors food. Especially, sweets. Today, he tried candy corn and let's just say... he likes it! Can't say I blame him. Amaze.

My two big boys going to school. Will started a "Mommy and me," preschool class once a week. I took Jake to the same class when he was Will's age and he had the same teachers too. It is very special for Will and I. He has been such a good boy in school and he really enjoys it too. Jake is going to Pre-k and has finally settled into the rythme. He loves his teacher, school and seeing his school buddies again.

Cousins cleaning leaves together.Adorable. Jake was apparently the head leaf collector. "Leaf collectors... follow my lead!" We have been talking about being a leader a lot lately.
Think it may be going to his head a little.

Littlest had to have an MRI recently on his little or not so little head. Poor kid. Everything was clear and perfectly normal, as we expected. Thank God. He was a trooper during the procedure and the nurses just loved him. Like his purple scrubs??

Very early morning so excuse the exhausted mommy pic.