Little bit of a monster...

Tonight, I am feeling crummy about my "momismness" (yup just made that one up). I felt like post 3:00pm this afternoon, I turned into a monster mom for lack of a better term. I am frustrated with myself as a I look back at my reasons of frustration and my lack of patience over trivial moments. I let the lack of kitchen construction, toddler behavior and my cold symptoms get the best of me. Lately, there are a lot of little moments that feel very intense. These moments may last 10 seconds or 10 minutes. They are usually in the early to late afternoon and involve both babies crying at the same time and my biggest feeling very frustrated by their crying. Then, my internal mom mind starts spinning trying to decifer which need is greater. Which behavior to correct first, which child to snuggle first, which spill to clean up first and so on... Lately, I am letting the little meaningless things get to me. It is annoying to me. I wish I could catch myself in the moment and say."really Jo? You are letting THIS stuff bother you?" I have certainly dealt with greater struggles then these. I have overcome tremendous greif and change in my life. These little frsutrations and changes should be welcomed with joy and today they were greeted by a green headed mommy monster. I want to be better! I want to do better for my children and husband. It is during these little times of struggle that I need to remember to lean on God and tap into the patience that comes only from Him. Ugh, how I thank Him tonight that tomorrow is a new day. I plan on getting up early to shower and have quiet time so I can start the day off on a good note!