The newest

We have had quite the eventful week over here. Our A/C was out for most of the week. The guys were here at least 4 times to fix it. So, Jake and I were dealing with the heat and napping at Mommel's house. Thanks Mommel and Popple! It is now up and running and has has pretty much had every part replaced. We also had a nice little society of ants take over our house. They came for a visit and have decided to stay. So, we have had an Orkin visit as well. Poor Jake spent most of his week waiting on service people.

On a more fun note, we also had another adoption appointment. This appointment is one of three in the last stage of adoption approval!!!!! It is called the home study. Our case worker, Janet, who I LOVE...interviewed Jon and I for about 2 hours. She asked every question you can imagine. Anything from are you willing to adopt trans-racial babies? to would you be willing to adopt a child if they have distant relatives have schizophrenia? We also had to go over possible drug/alcohol and smoking use. You name it... we talked about it. The questions just kept coming and as she asked them, I found myself bewildered at how to answer some of them. I have faith that God's hand is over every decision we make, so it is a weird feeling to be picking "attributes" or "characteristics" of a child. Ultimately, we understand that once we meet a birth mom/birth parents and make a solid connection that whatever come afterward is in God's hands. So, we tried our best to be honest about the kind of problems/situations we would be okay with and the ones that we were nervous about. Our case worker is wonderful and helped us understand the need for each question and come up with exactly the way we wanted to answer them. In the end we have decided that we are open to many races, possible health needs (although not severe) and/ or emotional needs if present at birth and quite a few is existing. We are also open to twins depending on what happens with our fertility.

Another topic we had to discuss in length, was the issue of what kind of adoption it would be. By that I mean Open, semi-open or closed. The agency had us read 4 books on these topics and complete an online course. This information greatly helped us understand and changed our minds quite a bit about everything. We began with a very old or traditional understanding of adoption. You go to the hospital, get the baby and run! You don't want to hear/speak or see the birth mom ever again because it is your baby and you worry she/they will take the baby back. After reading the books, I understand that adoption has changed dramatically. Our society is more accepting of single mothers and babies out of wed lock and there is not as much need for the privacy. Birth moms have more rights now and also more opinions about what they want for their baby's future. I am happy for these changes because I just can't imagine how hard it must be to give a child away. However, I still had reservations about the kind of relationship if any I wanted with a birth mom and so did Jon. We now feel that we want at least a letter/s and/or pictures from the birth mom explaining the love she had for the child and the situation she was in. This way when the child asks about the adoption we can offer more information to them. We are also going to be writing letters and sending pictures to her for the first 6 months (each month) then month 9 and 12. After that, will depend on the relationship with the birth mom and the trust we have built with her. We are unsure at this point about psychical visits or phone calls. We are not going to be releasing any information about our selves other than our first names. We ultimately want what is best for the child and I understand a three or four year old would not know they wanted to see their birth mom. It will be our job to create conversations with the child and be as open and supportive as possible. There are still a few question marks, but we feel confident they will be answered once we meet the right girl/parents. We are also considering joining the adoption support group at our church and maybe getting together with some families who have adopted children to chat. We are expected to be fully approved by September which means we could have a baby very soon! The whole process just excites me and I am more hopeful than ever. I know God has something (or a few somethings) amazing in store for us. Our family doesn't feel complete yet... but we are hopeful that it will be in the somewhat near future!!!