April 2nd marked the fifth year anniversary of my mothers' death. It is absolutely crazy to think it has been five years. It will never be real to me that she is truly gone. I think of her everyday and don't look at April 2nd as a day to celebrate. However, this year the ladies of my old neighborhood. Who I grew up thinking of as family decided to get together for brunch and visit the grave afterwards. It was a beautiful sunny day, much different from the rainy dreary day we had five years ago. So much has changed and so many positive things have happened since my mom's passng and I always think of her during those times. I have come to learn after staudying my bible and taking a grief class at my church that there is no time or tears in heaven. So that would mean that we are already in heaven with her. She has already heard about our weddings and met all of my children (assuming Jon lets me have more... hehe) It is a bizzare concept and not one that we are meant to understand, but one that brings me comfort each day. She is the lucky one up there hanging out with everyone having a blast. So when people say she is looking down on you. I think thats nice but she's not. She is in heaven with ME, happy as a clam and thats where I want her to be. I no longer fear death because it means going to a place with everyone I love and never feeling pain again AND never being rushed to be on time getting somewhere. Which we all know I still struggle with sometimes. Living in fast paced New Jersey has not changed this tender slowski.
No comments:
Post a Comment