Picture Update

Jon took Jake to the driving range after literally months of him asking to go golfing.

He loved it!!

Our second visit with Will's birth mother since his birth.

This time we went to the Phil's game together. It was awesome!

Spending time with Sean, his cousin.

Now that my sister lives closer by, the boys get to see their cousin much more!

Helping clean Nikki's house with the cleaning crew. This was hysterical. I could hear him trying to speak Spanish to some of the ladies. So funny.

Eko and Jon attempting to put together a desk.

Memorial Day Weekend time with family!

Famous Pop Pop tickles and swimming with Popple.

Swimming in the pool! Jake is SOOO excited.

He says every morning... "It's Summa time!!"

And then there were THREE...

We found out yesterday that we are expecting a healthy, active little BOY! That makes three. Crazy! Never in my life did I think I would have three boys. The girl who doesn't really get sports, is not competitive at all and considers herself pretty calm and peaceful. Not for long... YAY to boys! It is certainly not going to be a dull life for Jon and I! I couldn't be more thrilled and I was reminded yesterday of just how blessed we are with this little gift! All 11 ounces of him! Now to coming up with a name and designing his room... let the fun begin!

Mother's Day Tea

This morning, Jake's class held a Mother's Day Tea. It was my first and I know I will never forget it. I had tears in my eyes the whole time. Jake is just so darn sweet and loving. He sang songs and did the movements as he sang. I was so proud watching him sit like a little man with his friends. I always get a kick out of how he introduces himself. All the children went around saying their names "Jack," "Lilly,"and here is my Jakers.... "Jacob Michael Sharp!" All of his buddies at school call him Jake Sharp because that's what he calls himself. So funny. At one point, Jake got really into the music and moved his little hips. Everyone was cracking up. He has such rhythm! It is hysterical. I don't know where he gets it. (video below) A bunch of the ladies brought their mom's along with them which was bitter sweet for me. I was so proud and emotional about the whole morning, it was perfect! Thank you to my first little man. You make me one proud momma!

Jake Dancin'
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nd16aO-zu_E

God Loves Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuAkOLNFK2o

Intros

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6vetJv8xUI

Around these parts...

Lately, we have been relaxing, spending time with family and enjoying the weather as much as possible. The past few weekends my sister and nephew have been living here and joining my brother in law at the hotel. They spent some time looking for a place to live and have settled on a perfect house that is twenty minutes or so from here. I couldn't be more thrilled! My siblings and I are very close and I can't wait to have my sister closer to me and for our boys to spend more time together. Now.... if we can work on my New York City loving brother and his adorable girlfriend (whom I refer to as Aunt Katie... hoping he gets the point!) It has been wonderful and makes me realize what I have been missing by not living near my family. There is something special about your own family. My family relaxes me and makes me laugh. I love that I laugh more around them then any other group of people.

Last weekend we headed down to B-more for a much overdue trip to visit Dad and Carol. My dad's birthday was recently so, to celebrate we bought tickets to the Thomas the train show that was being held at the B & O railroad. We also BBQ'd in familiar Dad's birthday fashion in the backyard. Playing soccer, croquet, jumping on the trampoline and just simply hanging out. Wonderful! I loved it. Here's to spring!

Eggcellent...

With Easter soon approaching, the festivities have begun. We started the week off dying Easter eggs as a family. Then, we made special Easter treats with friends up the street. Today, we went to an egg hunt sponsored by church. It was really cute and Jake and Will had a blast with their cousins and friends! I love Easter and spring. Here's to more fun this weekend!

The next morning Jake insisted the eggs have a nest. Purple tissue paper satified him.
Soo proud...

Will and I were a little chilly
Tractor rides that were, "REALLY fast!"
Egg and spoon race. Round two was for the moms... let's just say I remember
now why I didn't excel in sports.
cupcake time
The sunglasses took away his "allergeezz"

Time with the Fam

This past weekend we had some family in town and it was great! Abby was in town for a bridal shower. So we were lucky to get some time with her!! My sister, Eko and Sean were also in town looking for rental homes!! That's right... their moving here!!! Eko got a job transfer to the Four Seasons Philadelphia and started this past Monday. My sister is living Monday thru Friday in VA and will move here as soon as they secure a rental. Sooo exciting. We had a great time with everyone. It was my kind of weekend! Here are a few pics from the family fun.

Abs and Will taking a snap after a wonderful brunch , Thanks Mommel!

Great thing about having a brother in law who works for amazing hotels... the pools!!!

Nikki will hate this picture, but I think it's cute!!

Two of my handsome boys Of course, easiest baby in the world. Slept through pool time.

Gosh I love these boys..

(yes, I am aware of how horrible I look... just love this picture! Makes me feel soo lucky)

I have been feeling like myself again.. well pregnant, but myself! Can I just... IT'S AMAZING! I definitely took my health for granted and have realize now how blessed I am to be healthy and happy. I've been trying to ease back into my life again. Which is not an easy task for me. I am full throttle most of the time. I tend to go from 0 to 100 the minute I start feeling well. It just feels so good to do daily chores and things with the boys again. I find myself forgetting I am pregnant then all of a sudden feel the need to crawl to my bed for a nap! Amazing considering the last few weeks... Here are some updates and a few pictures of our latest escapades as a lucky little family.

Jake

He has been majorly into everything lately! He has always been observant,but the newest interests seem to be:

- His brother. He notices everything and always tries to make him feel better. It is the sweetest thing ever and brings me to tears sometimes (hormones!)

- where people live and their address

- signs or cars going to fast and anything we see while driving

- bad guys versus good guys (don't like this one)

- correcting every one's manners (luckily not to their face, just rats them out to me)

- growing up quickly so he can go to the golf course with Daddy

- GOLF... a major one. He watches the golf channel anytime he is allowed!

-Summer: Every morning he asks if it's hotter and if we can play basketball in the pool yet

- Being clean. He doesn't mind getting messy and wet while playing, but if it happens during a meal or potty moment... watch out... he insists on putting new pants or a shirt on and will go without if they are not available.

-Funny faces and jokes. He has a slue of faces, but lately he is really experimenting and he also likes to "tell" jokes.

Will

- What a sweetie. He continues to be a calm, happy baby and I am so thankful!

- Yesterday, he rolled over from his back to his belly and now does it every time.

- He babbles like crazy and I swear he said "mama," the other day.

- He likes to play in his gym mat and now grabs toys and turns them on all by himself.

- He is waking once at night usually between 1-2 am.

- He is a hungry little boy! He wants to eat every three hours again and chugs his bottles!

- He is four months old tomorrow and is in six or six to nine month clothes.

- he smiles all day long.

- He loves to watch Jake and laughs at him often.

Lately, we have been going to a fun place that has roller skating,

inflatables among other things. Jake and Will both love it !

Limbo Attempt One

http://youtu.be/PK2sRloKOEs

Limbo, Round 1,002...

http://youtu.be/ry7HvTJa_pQ

Reading to My Brudda

http://youtu.be/QqSGkGz1nGA

"Homework" time as Jake calls it

http://youtu.be/Lp_dAI0sX-U

Has it really been that long?

Saturday marked eight years since my mom has passed away. I had a very busy day and night due to the Anna Foundation Auction I help plan, which kept my mind occupied. April 2nd has changed throughout the years. The first year my family drove down to Mike's college to visit and let off balloons in the air. The second year, we got together just to be together. After that, it has become more personal. Some of us do things, others don't. We are all aware, but we are all so different and have different ways of healing. For many years, I chose to watch a movie my sister had made in college which my mom has a lengthily interview in. This year I know with my hormones... I cannot handle it. April 2nd is not a day when I like to sit around, wallow or cry. I'm not a person who likes to go back to the past in my mind too often. I usually like to move forward quickly and think positively. I typically see little benefit in going back and replaying those early moments. Again, this is just a personal choice I have made. I don't think there is anything wrong with crying or being sad. I am sometimes. But, this day.... just can't do it... It keeps me afloat to be positive. The night I lost my mom was and still is like a movie in my mind. Like a bad lifetime movie that you want to turn off, but you can't. When I allow myself to go back to that night, I still can't believe I lived through it. Last night we got back from the auction around midnight and I laid down and attempted to get some sleep. (knowing that Will would be up soon) All the details of the day and the auction were filtering through my mind and I was trying to relax. Then, out of the blue... I thought "my gosh it is April 2nd". I knew it was the whole day, but the true meaning had escaped me. I felt a pang of guilt at first, then quickly realized how amazing that was. It is amazing to think that eight years ago, I thought my life was over. I truly believed I would not go on breathing. I can vividly remember my hearing being fuzzy. People's mouths would move, but I heard voices that sounded like the mom from Charlie Brown. I remember reminding myself to breath in and out constantly and feeling my heart stop every so often. I can remember driving back from the hospital, after having a very hard time leaving, and seeing the people around me in their cars. I remember thinking, how are they smiling?, how are they laughing?, do they know what has happened to me and my family??? It is crazy to think about that now. Knowing what I know now about greif. I know now that I was in shock for a very long time. I was functioning, but only phsyically. It took a long time to come to terms with her death and to see anything positive that could possibly come from it. Eight years ago I was twenty two. I lived in MD. I was in my senior year of college and was student teaching in a fourth grade classroom. I was dating Jon, but we had breifly discussed our future in a serious way. I was president of my sorority and a senator for the student government. I lived in a house full of girls. I was recently back from an amazing spring break trip. I was close with and loved my family. I would call my mom so often, that I was made fun of for it. I believed in God, but did not think of Him often. Ignorance was bliss and I was living a "blessed" life. I was in the prime of my life. I had tons of friends, fun and endless dreams! I had a plan. I was going to graduate, teach young children, marry (I hoped Jon), become a stay at home mommy, have four children, buy a yellow victorian with a pond and be happy. My mom was in all of those plans. She would be there on my wedding day, my baby showers, at the births of my children, we'd vacation as a big happy family, have bbq's and just be... simply be happy and together. Well, God had a very different plan. I am now thirty years old. I live in NJ. I married Jon!! I did teach and I am now a stay at home mom. I have two children and one on the way. I live in a grey colonial (with blue and yellow accents) and we have a pool. Pretty darn close if you ask me. However, life is different. I am different. From the surface, all is swell. Underneath, only God can fill the void I feel on a daily basis. There are amazing and supportive people in my life and I am thankful for them all. However, you can't replace your mom. For me, that is hard. I often see girls shopping with their moms or walking, doing simple every day tasks together. Every time, it catches my breath slightly. I yern for that. I miss that very much. I know that I will have that with my children one day, I will make sure of it. However, it is what it is. God knows why He has chosen this life for me. I know I will find out the fine details of His plan later. In the meantime, I look for and seek the positive outcomes from this experience. I feel lucky to have seen a few already. I have personally gained a relationship with God and a real awareness of the short time we have here on earth. This to me, is priceless. I have compassion in my heart for others that was greatly enhanced by my experience. I know that the person in line next to me or in the car next to me, could be having the worst day of their life. Every time an ambulance passes, I think "wow, someone's life could be changing right now." I know how important it is to be there for people during hard times. Especially later when the crowds are gone. I love my family with all my heart and I try not to take anything too seriously. I kiss my kids hundreds of times a day and tell my husband I love him as much as possible. I end arguments with Jon very quickly and have a voicemail or two of his in my phone at all times. I have been able to help a handful of people through their losses and hope to be there for more. Obviously, I would have preferred MY plan. My plan was painless. My plan was easy. My plan did not require me to stretch or change. His plan is painful, hard and ever changing. However, along with that... His plan is joyful, amazing, unexpected and blessed. I feel lucky to be alive and well. I feel lucky to have a family and friends who loves me. I feel lucky to have hope. For now, that is enough for me.

Never want to forget...

Not feeling hot over here, but had to blog about one of my sweeties so I wouldn't forget it. I have been sick, as you know, and my poor Jake has had to witness some pretty gross scenes with me lately. He is quite traumatized when I become violently/unexpectedly ill. He often cannot focus until I am myself again. Today, while feeding the baby it happened. I had to quickly lay the baby down, grab the trash can by my bed and run. I was hoping to spare Jake from the trauma. I could here him talking while I was in there but until I could respond I didn't know what he was saying. I peeked my head and out and said," What buddy?" He looked at my with such an upset face and said," I just love you Mommy." He is so aware of feelings it is insane. Jake does not like it when other people feel sick or are sad. While watching shows or reading stories, he often focuses on people's faces and characters feelings. However, I find that he is particularly aware of my feelings. My sweet sensitive mommy's boy. I hope he never loses this quality!

Toddlers, Infants and Pregs.... oh My!

Life around here has been a little off kilter lately... as I've said I haven't been feeling like myself and haven't been able to do all that I normally do each day. However, after two days pretty much in bed... today I feel 50% better. Still nauseous, but normal pregs sick. Totally do- able! I sure hope it stays... Wanted to give some updates because I feel like it has been forever since I have.Jake is such a three year old these days. On a daily basis he cracks me up and drives me nutty! He talks non-stop ALL day long and says the funniest things sometimes. Until he closes his eyes at night, he has something to say. As tired as I am of talking and answering questions by the end of the day, I miss him when he is not around me and I often think it is too quiet. He is becoming more independent each day. He still likes Mommy to do a lot of things. So, I am encouraging him to do more for himself. He is a very sweet boy and I just love the way he talks to Jon and I. Each night, we laugh, look at each other and say.. he's the sweetest. I have always known that Jake is emotional. He has become more aware of others feelings and feels every emotion there is throughout the day now. I love this quality, crying is often his gut reaction to things. Not a full out melt down cry, but he wells up a few times throughout the day. Whether it is getting hurt physically, not getting his way or someone hurting his feelings, he cries. I don't mind that he cries of course, but I don't want him to be pushed around or too emotional about daily events. I've been working with him a lot lately on this issue. I believe it is important for a boy/man to have emotions and not hide them for fear that it is not masculine. My dad is very emotional and I love it. I know how much he cares and he shows it often. I think it is a very important trait for a father and husband to have. So, I want Jake to keep this quality, yet I don't want him to always be crying. So, in a three year old way I have been trying to show him at times that maybe this isn't the best time to cry. What can we do instead? Use our words... use our manners...tell an adult... walk away... I'm trying, but I find it hard to explain at times. I was/am an emotional person as well so I can really relate to some of his feelings. I'm not a huge crier necessarily, but I feel so much for other people that sometimes I get overwhelmed. For example, I can rarely watch the news because I become so engrossed in the stories that I actually experience chest pain or crazy emotions from imagining what these people must be feeling. I'm positive that I am overreacting about this, but it's my job to examine these things! I think emotions can be channeled in the right way and I pray that God will help me lead Jake down the right path with his. On another note, he continues to be the best big brother Will could ask for! So protective and loving. Makes me so proud.

Will is now three months old. I can't believe it. Talk about sweet. He smiles more than any baby I have ever seen. Even in his sleep or when he is upset, he smiles. He does one smile that just melts my heart. He looks at you, smiles and then curls up his body and covers his face with his hands like he is shy. Ugh . He has the best hair I have ever seen. It just keeps getting better. I'm so curious to see what it will look like down the road because right now it is a mix of fro/curls/crazy. I love it. He is still not a fan of the bath. He is improving and will enjoy it for a minute once he is warm, but overall... not a fan. He takes bottles every four hours now throughout the day and eight ounces at a time. At night he usually does a six hour stretch then it is potluck from that point on. Sometimes, he goes back down until his morning bottle and other nights he seems to be very unsettled from 2-6am. Up and down. I have not been myself either, so we are just going with the flow right now. I will worry about sleep training once I feel better. Our pediatrician recently put him on some meds for reflux and I'm not totally convinced they are working. He's spitting up less, but is still having some trouble with his bottles and his body seems tense a lot during and after feedings. Time will tell if the meds are helping or if it is actually more about his short tongue. I am going to make an appointment with an ENT to discuss whether his tongue needs to be clipped or not. At his two month check up, he was in the 75 % for height and 50% for weight. He is starting to giggle a little and move around a little more too. He is in 3-6 months and some six month clothes already! So fun!

As far as Will's open adoption is concerned, we are loving it. We email his birthmom every other week or so with little notes here and there. We also met her out for dinner and brought Will with us about a month ago. We met at a busy, low key restaurant and told her she could bring a friend or family member is she wanted. She brought her best friend who had been at the hospital with her during Will's birth. The dinner went beautifully and as always felt so natural. She fed and held Will and seemed to really enjoy his company. We chatted about how he was doing, how she was going and life in general. At the end, we could tell she was not in a rush and we ended up at the restaurant for almost three hours. It makes me so happy that we have developed a great relationship and we can really see God working on not only our hearts but hers as well. What a blessing! Today is March 16th. I heard on the radio a challenge to share the verse John 3:16 with someone you didn't know. Although, I did not do that. It made me think of her right away. Imagine.... giving away your only son... what a remarkable and amazing choice. Truly selfless.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

That's all for now.... more to say but feeling wiped out... will upload pics soon!

To my hubbs

The last few weeks have been rough and I have definitely not been feeling or acting like myself. I have not been able to make the kind of meals I like to make, clean the way I usually do or even stay up past 8:00! My husband has been such a trooper. He has been changing diapers when I am ready to gag, helping with dinner when I need it, giving me nap time on the weekends and putting the kids to bed on nights when I am really sick. All without complaining. He even planned a special weekend away for our little family in April. He is amazing. I am so thankful that we function as a team and that he helps pick up the slack when I can't. Thank you to my handsome, hardworking and sweet husband!!!