Unfortunately for us, we got word this afternoon that we were not chosen for the little boy we were hoping for. The birth parents struggled very much with their decision. They loved both couples, but ended up feeling pulled toward the couple that was infertile. We are disappointed for sure, but I can't help but feel happy and joyful for the other couple. I cannot imagine being labeled infertile. I cannot imagine not having a Jake. I cannot begin to imagine how excited and overwhelmed this new adoptive mom must feel tonight. I feel good knowing this baby will be loved and so appreciated. My fertility issues have been a challenge and I have felt drained at times. However, I believe they have been a blessing and God has continued to show me other peoples' struggles and remind me of how lucky we are to have our little Jakester. We love and cherish him each day and are so thankful for our family! We are going to continue praying for God's strength and comfort. I know He has an amazing plan for us, far greater than we could possibly imagine.
This morning on the way to my nephew's birthday, I heard a song by Steven Curtis Chapman (who I love!) It is called All I Really Want for Christmas. To say I was crying while I listened is an understatement. I was meant to hear that song this morning and everything about my life and this process has made me believe even more that we are meant to adopt. Each experience we go through, only encourages me to push forward. I cannot wait to hold a baby in my arms. I feel anxious about having to wait again, but I know one day our nursery will be full again. It will be amazing and perfect.
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