More than Ever

Today would have been my mom's 60th birthday. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her at least ten times. I am missing her intensely today. With everything going on with the adoption and Jake growing up and being so darn cute, I just want to share it all with her. I thought as a tribute to her birthday, I could remember sixty thoughts about her. Her favorite things, lessons she taught me, my memories etc.

1. She taught me how to love unconditionally
2. and to sew
3. She always played devil's advocate when I was mad at Mike or Nikki and explained their side of the story. It taught me many things about relationships and that there are two sides to every story.
4. A love for shoes... reasonably priced shoes... I remember she always loved shoes, but she rarely bought them for herself. Her favorite shoes were these comfy cute leather clogs. One of her expressions was," Buy the Shoes!"
5. A love for chocolate and sweets in general
6. A heart for others. My mother was always aware of others and was good at putting herself in their shoes. She was incredibly selfless.
7. Decorating: She loved it. She always said she wasn't "arty." She would be amazed by Nikki and Mike's talents, but I knew part of those talents came from her.
8. She loved her architectural digest magazine.
9. She loved mocha frappucino's!
10. I remember her cute work outfit once she started working again. Her white nurse pants and cheesy white sneakers.
11. I remember how she felt. She was always warm.
12. I will never forget her hands, because I have them. I look down sometimes and just stare. I know it's weird but it brings me comfort.
13. I'll never forget when my parents picked me up from my spring break trip and I was blabbing the whole way home about my trip. She looked right at me and said," Jo, you are somethin' else."
14. I won't forget the kind of mom she was to each of us. I never felt like she wanted to be anywhere but with us.
15. The way she took care of us when we were sick
16. The way she made our beds until late in life
17. The way she cooked dinners each night and we sat and ate as a family as often as possible
18. The way she loved the holidays and made them super special
19. Our Christmas Eve Party
20. Our trips to Ireland and the trip to Spain together
21. Seeing her cry when we went to her mother's grave, she rarely cried
22. Watching Oprah together (I would come home from college sometimes just to do that)
23. Her beef stroganoff, lasagna and spaghetti recipes
24. The way she made a Cesar salad
25. Her handbags, she had few but always loved when she got a "fancy" one
26. Her love for plates, which I have inherited
27. That she had the same bedspread for 20 years.. when asked when she would change it she would tell us "she hadn't found the right one" Now I understand that it just wasn't a priority.
28. Going to Calico corners
29. Her faint accent that came out strongly when we were in Ireland or when relatives called
30. Her love for all of my friends
31. How some of my friends would talk more to her than their own mom's
32. Our thoughtful and well planned gifts at birthdays or Christmas
33. When she started using "the web," I would get emails that just said, Hope you had a nice day!"
34. How she loved hearing my stories on the way home from student teaching. I would call her everyday and just blab about the kids... she couldn't get enough
35. How she began to enjoy her "empty nesting" and started doing things for herself finally
36. How my mom and dad always told us to be thankful for our siblings
37. The pride she felt about living in America
38. How we would talk on the phone constantly.. I would call her no joke 5 times a day at least in college. Even just for a quick question. I had to change her number on my cell to Nikki's after she passed for fear that I would call it by accident. It took me a long time to her name from my contact lists
39. How I truly felt the world stopped for her when you talked to her... she was a great listener.
40. Her simple and meaningful way of living
41. Her mother's purse, it was the only thing she had of her mom
42. Going to church together
43. Her 80's coat and skirt dresses
44. Her jewelry box and the way she explained why my letter to Santa was in there...
45. How protective she was of my heart when I was dating
46. If I was upset about something a boyfriend did or said she simply said, "eh... many more fish in the sea!" making it seem so easy to just dump him and find a better guy
47. How she told all of my friends that if you didn't enjoy and love the man you were with when you were dating, to find someone new... it only gets more real when your married
48. How she always made me feel safe
49. The way she searched for the perfect pair of staffordshire dogs for her mantel
50. When I took her tanning in college... and she loved it
51. The time when a restaurant, which was located very near my high school, wouldn't donate a gift card to a fundraiser and she refused to go back! Even though it was a family favorite.
52. The way she would chop up veggies really small or separate my food for me. I must have been such an annoying toddler with all my food issues. Now, I really appreciate that!
53. How she always bought little things for us when she was out. She always thought of us.
54. How she bragged to her friends about us.
55. The day my dad called the house in Indiana and told us we were moving to New Jersey... she sat on the floor with me and held me when I cried...I have very few memories of Indiana because we moved when I was seven, but I remember that..
56. Her funny little Irish sayings that no one understood but us. Her sayings in general actually... "It doesn't go up with you!" that one is still my favorite.
57. The way she hung her Christmas cards, I do this now and it makes me feel so special each year
58. Her love for socks... on days when I miss her... all I need to do is put on a pair of moms socks and I feel better... have some on right now...
59. The last night we had together (the night before she passed) She came to an event I was hosting at my University. It was called RAD (Rape Aggressive Defense). I told her that we'd be kicking and punching and thought she may not like it. Then, there she is... all dressed up with her fake burberry bag, cute scarf and heels. Ready to go... She had so much fun. She was the only parent who came. It started at 9PM and didn't end until 10:30. She worked in the morning and I thought she should head home and she said," let's go grab a bite... you look hungry.." She knew me well, I had skipped dinner from the stress of planning the event. So, there we sat for at least an hour chatting and eating gross cafeteria food. Friends would walk by and I would introduce them to her. She loved just being in my scene and you could tell how proud of me she was. She always made me feel like she was proud of me. Afterwards, she gave me a lift home and we sat in the car for a little and chatted. Finally, I forced her to go home because it was midnight or later. Before I got out she pulled my arm back in and said,"Jo, make sure this year is about YOU. You are always doing things for others and you need to take care of yourself..." I replied with something like," Yeah yeah Ma'," gave her a kiss and hopped out of the car. If I only knew it would be our last conversation... the things I would have said...
60. Lastly, everything... I remember everything... I think it is a blessing from God that I remember so much and I am thankful. I never want to forget anything...
Happy Birthday Ma'